Hey, what are you doing July 25th at around 1:30PM? I know what — you're watching my live-action troll at OSCON Data in Portland, Oregon: deep inside bat country.

The formal title of my talk is "What Every Programmer Needs to Know About Disks", an overview of why everything you know about disk I/O is wrong, how vendors lie to you, and how a little knowledge of how disks work down to the hardware will make EC2 customers think Jesus, this neighborhood's really gone to shit. I've got to get out of here before those fucking brutes throw a flower pot through the window and make off with my TV.

It's going to be geared toward Linux platform programmers, as Linux will do most of your job for you if you point it in the right direction. Bad systems administrators may learn a thing or two. If you want to show up to troll me, that's fine too, just remember I'm the one with the microphone.

You can buy tickets here, and use the code os11fos for 20% off. They're not paying me, I'm in it for the luls.